Dear Lane,

I am beaming right now because of you. I just put you down for the night and I just want to thank you. Thank you for making me smile, for reassuring me that I'm not doing so bad at this thing called mommy-hood and thank you for being you.

First of all, my almost 3 year old, we got home from dinner with our friends and I put Parker to bed while you played with some puzzles. You asked me to do them with you, but you had to wait until I got Parker squared away. And you waited so patiently. We did a few of our puzzles and chatted. You told me, during our puzzle assembling "I just love you, momma" and "I just wanna give you a hug." So sweet!

After we put together a few puzzles, I told you I was going to set the timer and when it went off it was time for bed. You are a child that likes to know what to expect in all situations, so we do the timer thing a lot and it works really well for us. I tell you the expectation and you are ready when it has to happen. As soon as the timer went off, you got up and started walking to your room even though we didn't finish our last puzzle. I told you we could finish the puzzle and then head to bed. You were happy with that.

We read 2 books and then I put you in your crib. I thanked you for having such a fun day with me, for being sweet to your friends and mine and you started thanking me back and replaying our day. "We had ice cream at the park and then played with Brady and Nafan, went to the Y, ate a nice lunch, went to dinner with Baby Mady. And she's cute momma and happy! Thank you for doing puzzles with me and setting the timer and I can't wait to see you tomorrow. See you soon. Love You!"

I came out feeling so proud of you, for the little boy you are becoming. I've been replaying our days to you before bedtime since you were very young. I thought it was good in many ways. It's partly the teacher in me and also the mom who wants to remind us of how fortunate we are to spend the fun times we have together. And tonight it was reaffirmed again. Just when I start to think, am I doing enough? am I doing good enough? You help me to see that, most days, I am doing enough and doing it fairly well.

I love you little man! I can't believe in less than 2 weeks you will be THREE. I love watching you learn and grow, but maybe slow down just a tad. I'm enjoying this and I don't want it to go by too fast.

Love,
Momma

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Our Special Tuesdays

Dear Lane,
We continue our wonderful Tuesdays of delivering meals to home-bound elderly and less fortunate residents of Greenville. As I watch you walk in to the Meals on Wheels headquarters to pick up our meals with your chest puffed out and your million dollar coy smile plastered across your face, I just wanted to let you know, I feel the same way buddy! The joy in your heart is beaming on your face! And I'm with ya! Doing this simple deed has brought us so much joy. You wave at all of the other volunteers and workers as we walk to fill our cooler with juice and milk. You grasp the side of the table for support and hoist yourself up on your tiptoes and rest your chin on the edge to acknowledge the kitchen workers as they count out our hot meals and hand them to us to pack away in our hot bag. Someone always comes over and gives you your "badge"..."I delivered Meals today!" And then you show everyone you see for the rest of the day your sticker. You definitely, by now, know what Meals on Wheels (MOW) is and when I tell you on Tuesday, "It's time for MOW!" You walk around the house saying "meals! meals!"

Yes we are doing a good thing, but what we are doing for others is very small compared to what it is doing for us. We are able to interact with people we would otherwise never have come in contact with and feeling their generosity toward us from such a small task, is beyond describable. You have really opened up and love hanging outside their door for just a minute or 2 to chat. You show them your tractor or car you have in tow for the day and always always flash them a smile that in turn brings a smile out of them!

As a younger baby, older people sometimes frightened you. This has definitely changed your perspective. You are no longer afraid. We also meet people of all sorts of ethnic backgrounds which, of course, is teaching you the diversity among the human race.

The puffed out chest, the confidence, security, and comfort you feel as you walk in to pick up our meals...the smile on your face...I feel it too, in my heart and in my soul. Thank you for making me a better person...for allowing me to show you just how good it feels to help others and for showing me that this deed, no matter how small, is definitely worth more to us than we will ever know.

Love,
Your co-pilot in 'MOW' Momma

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20 months 11 days

Dear Lane,
You are closer to 2 than 1 and I can't believe it. I think of you a year ago and you were barely moving around. You would sit and play with your toys and you were attempting to crawl. I look at you now and you are this cute bubbly toddler who runs everywhere...even when we are at home. If Daddy is playing guitar in one room and I am in the kitchen or catching up on DVR you run from each of our rooms with such a little determined look on your face. I laugh, when sometimes, it doesn't look like you are going to stop in time before hitting a wall or door.
You are just the sweetest! You say 'kank-you' (thank you) for everything, you still hand out kisses like nobody's business, and often, if we are apart, I get the biggest smile and wave followed by a hug when we are reunited again. You are a big momma's boy, but we do spend a lot of time together. You like to take your time waking up in the morning. I usually hear big sighs and after a few minutes when you haven't called, I'll peek in and you are still laying down stroking the silk on your lovie. I'll leave you in there until you are ready, but you need some stretch time and time for rubbing your eyes so you are ready to take in the big world around you for the day!

Even though you are the sweetest, you have a determined side to you as well. You know what you want when you want it and if it doesn't happen, you let us know. You also get a little mischief bone sometimes and purposely step on Harley's tail or play with his paws even though you know he doesn't like that. He is a very tolerant dog though, so he just lays there, because most of the time you just want to play with him. You have recently started saying nooooooooo in the whiniest brattiest tone. It's mostly when you are tired. I don't like when you say that and we are working on saying no thank you.
You are still very into cars and trucks and love Elmo and the monkey, Curious George. On Sunday, you sit on my lap and we look through the flyers and you point out Elmo when you see him.
You've started to want to sit on the potty and usually a few times a day you tell me "poo-poo?" You haven't gone in your diaper yet so I sit you on the toilet and we talk and laugh and you usually grunt like you are trying to go, but still have yet to go. You recently started telling me when you are going or when you are about to go. I always ask you if you want to sit on the potty and you do, but still nothing. You are really interested at this point and I don't know what to make of it!

You are starting to recognize what belongs to others...example...mommy's eyes, daddy's tootsies. This is a new development this month. Prior to this I would ask you where mommy's eyes were and you would point to your own.

You are a pretty good listener, in fact, you usually know when you aren't supposed to be doing something so instead of going up to touch it, you'll look at it and say 'no-no.' That happened when we were out to dinner one night and you got up on the stage they had set up. There was a giant panel of buttons and lights flashing. I think it was for controlling the sound. You love buttons and it looked so tempting, but you wouldn't go near it because before I could even tell you, you knew it was something you shouldn't  be playing with!
You still love books and can be entertained by looking through them for a good period of time. We read lots of books on our car ride home with Grandma and Grandpa last week. Even Grandpa got in on the action and read the potty book at least 18 times in a 30 minute time frame. You looked at the books by yourself too on our car ride and when you finished one you would say 'mo book.' And I picked another one for you to look at. But sometimes you are choosy in which one you want to look at. It was on this car ride that I noticed you started "reading" them to yourself. It was your peek-a-boo book and you were flipping through and stopping at each page saying ' I see you!" Which is what it says when you lift the flap. It was so darn cute and a little impressive. It really showed me that you do pay attention to the words that we read.

You're such a joy each and everyday in our lives. Daddy and I look at each other all the time because we are so in awe of you! We love you little boy and we continue to look forward to how you will amaze us next!
Love,
Mommy

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A Letter to Lane

(written in October and never posted)


Dear Lane,
As I sit here on October 22nd a lot of things come to mind. I know what the world is like right now and I can't help but think about your future. When I was a kid, playing outside until the street lights came on, walking to and from school, wearing your name on your book bag or shirt, was not something to be concerned about. But as I think of the world right now, a lot has changed.

As a highschooler in the 90's, there was still a lot of innocence (in my world, anyway. I lived a very cushy life. I guess you can call it that! In my opinion, it was cushy in a good way. I wan't exposed to some of the issues and seriousness that some kids were exposed to at a very young age). Kids were into their school, sports were important and everybody wanted to be on a team, for the most part school spirit was still very much alive, but as I look now, I feel like it is all changing and who knows what it will be like once you get there.

I went to LPHS...both your Daddy and I went there, in fact. He was a star on the football team and we spent every Friday night cheering for the C-A-V-A-L-I-ERS, CAVALIERS! CAVALIERS! As I go back to LP and Howard Fellows, I feel proud to be a Cavalier.

On the night of our 10 year reunion, I walked down on that same field I cheered on 10 years ago and looked up to the sea of red and green. It still gave me that same flutter in my stomach. As I walked with the band to the 50 yard line, I passed several coaches who taught me. One meeting in particular comes to mind. As I walked to mid-field I was approached by Coach Booker. He was very fond of your Daddy. He respected Daddy as a student, athlete, and as a person. As he got closer he extended his hand and said "Mrs. McConville, how are you?" I'm not really sure what was said after that.

My mind went back to 10 years ago, where I watched Mr. McConville run up and down the field Friday night after Friday night. I did think about our future, what it would be like. I knew he was something special and that he would be the best husband and father someday. And here we are 10 years later with YOU! I know 10 years ago, my vision was to come back as Mrs. McConville and to be called that by a former teacher made me smile!

I was proud to be a Cavalier, I was proud to be Angela Mattioda, and now I am proud to be Mrs. McConville. I write this to you Lane because I want you to have the same passion and heart for what you do. Whether it's a drummer in the marching band or the running back for the football team. I want you to love it, live it, and do everything to the best of your ability. Have pride and spirit in what you do and always put your heart into it.

Be a leader to your peers. Do NOT be a follower. Be proud of who you are and don't be afraid to show it! Have your own ideas and set your own trends and be confident about them. Don't do things because everyone else is doing them, do things because you believe in them, trust me, you will earn respect from your peers much quicker that way! Follow your head and your heart and think about what we have taught you! We come from a long line of good morals and values, hard work ethic, and overall generous and caring people in our family.

I know you will respect your teachers and coaches and in turn, they will have a respect for you, like our teachers and coaches have for us. And no matter what school colors you wear, wear them proud, support your school, and participate as much as you can. It all goes by so fast!

Love,
Mama

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